i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
Randomize
