im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
Just saw some airport workers running through the terminal with liquor bottles. That's my kind of emergency.
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
you're hired as official boob wrangler
Help me help you realize you are a moron
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
Randomize
