I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
a fat lady just tried to bring a cooler stuffed full with burger kid through airport security. christ I'm going to miss the midwest.
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
Randomize
