I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
Randomize
