its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
I was just wicked nice to a telemarketer... that's how stoned this woman got me.
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Randomize
