Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
Dude my body has gone into shock from not eating frozen pizza and chips. I've been shitting like Richard Simmons after a night out of twerking in a corn field
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
Randomize
