The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
Randomize
