coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
There is nothing more embarrassing than your birth control alarm going off while in a meeting with your boss and they tell you to take it.
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
Randomize
