I just walked into the kitchen and my dad was having this uber serious convo
With himself
took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
Just saw a man being put through a dui test on the side of the road... it was noon and he was on a bicycle. God bless texas.
He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
I woke up and found a stick of butter in my pocket. There's no butter in the house so I don't know who's it is. Using it to make cookies.
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
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