Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
I told my mom that I was just gonna go check the mail. It's been 19 hours, and I woke up in a hot tub covered in chocolate, with a text from her sayin "have fun sweetie"
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
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