I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
You left me a voice message at 5 a.m. It was mostly incoherent noise, you screaming my name and then something about a man with two butt holes...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
This is not a drill. I need a cape. And a tuxedo. Simultaneously. Repeat. NOT. A. DRILL....
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
Randomize