And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
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