She punched me in the face after i pulled it out and grabbed my cell phone. Ill be the one hiding in the bushes with one shoe.
i'm drinking out of my 'black like my president' mug
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
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