Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
i'm signing you up for texting rehab
hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
Randomize
