He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
Randomize
