you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
You need to be on (or possibly create) the international emoji committee to address all of these glaring oversights
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
They were playing some sort of fast food scavenger hunt game as an ice breaker. Some chick stamped a Starbucks logo on my hand and told me to go find the girl with the matching stamp and fill her with cream.
Dave had an Arby’s stamp and some sorority girl grabbed him and screamed “I’ve have the meat!”\n
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