you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
Just heard a girl ask "Wait you're not my boyfriend?!" to a guy wearing the Mickey to her Minnie Mouse on my way home. Made me feel better about myself.
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
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