'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
I told you alcohol was flammable, but you didn't believe me until you tried to extinguish your sparkler by submerging it in vodka and the bottle burst into flames.
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
Randomize
