i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
I got drunk and applied for two credit cards last night. About to find out if anyone in this world is still dumb enough to give me credit.
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
Im sorry i offered the man at mcdonalds your hand in marriage in exchange for some french fries
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
How do you forget making out with a coworker in the dressing room at Sears on more than one occasion?
...object impermanence?
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
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