If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
Apparently I ran up to the group of cookie-cutter blonde chicks and screamed "Delta Gamma Nuuuuuuu!" really excitedly and tried to hug them and share fake sorority stories with them.
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
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