..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds
Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning.
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
Randomize
