I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
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