Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
Met my future wife peeing in the men's room. I stood in for the missing door on the stall. We really hit it off talking about how her butt didn't even touch the seat from all the years of squat lifting in high school.
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
Randomize
