it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
I woke up hungover and reached for a glass of water only to realize too late that it was vodka sprite with my splooge in it.
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
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