are you so shy because you have an std?
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
I can't really text bc it's too expensive but I thought youd like to know I just shit myself in a gift shop.
Randomize
