Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
Just had a nice conversation with my landlord while cleaning your puke off my car
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
I just want somebody who'll randomly bring me pizza and lovingly squeeze my butt. Is there a dating app for that, do you think?
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
Fuuuuuck dude, he’s got #Excel in his Facebook bio; I’m screaming
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
Randomize
