You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
He? As in you personified your dick?
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
Randomize
