Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like vodka or no vodka, you'd still be trying to button your cat into your comforter
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
Basic items
Randomize