btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
I found dried jizz from last night on my leg while feeding an infant a bottle. I am not fit to care for children
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
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