i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize
