just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
Morning! Got your 3am VM to remind you to get up for spin class and also confirm you were not murdered by the sketchy guy at brunch yesterday. So this is your literal and metaphorical wake up call.
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
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