He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
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I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
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It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
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