Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
Randomize
