so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
I'm not sure what's more surprising, the fact that she said I reminded her of Danny Devito, or the fact that it got me laid.
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
Randomize
