did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
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