You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
I don't care how drunk you were. Sending me a pic of your dick dressed as Uncle Sam with the caption "I want you" isn't an acceptable pick up line.
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
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