I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
woke up to an unread text message i sent to myself: "brreakfdast..pork and ice cream."
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
God that barista is texting me bout his life like i care i mean dude just hook me up with free coffee thats why i gave you my number
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
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