What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
Every time I find out someone else from high school got pregnant accidentally, I want to declare victory over them.
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
My crowning drunk achievement from that night was donating $5 to the Obama campaign.
You're perfect
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
Randomize
