Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
I booty called her while she was in labor.
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
Randomize
