So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
u know whats better than using ur vibrator? using it w/ jeopardy on in the background and half moaning the correct final jeopardy question. yeah that just happened.
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
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