he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
Randomize