The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
He goes "hi, free today?" WHEN AM I EVER FREE ON A SATURDAY, I GOT HUNGOVER TO BE AND DRUNK TO GET.
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
I left you a really long drunk voicemail and I remember something about a bat
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
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