Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
3am cut off hipster s***'s afro on porch. Opened champagne. Felt like delilah cutting off samson's hair. Then shower & anal. So I guess his powers are intact.
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
Randomize
