you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
In a world where you don't want your phone to pocket dial your parents at 2 in the morning while you're running around Florida shitfaced, Droid does.
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
Two big black bouncers picked you up and escorted you to the elevator.
I didn't even do anything wrong. For all they knew I could have been on the US Olympic Gymnastic team. Would they kick Gabby Douglas out of a bar? I don't think so.
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
This toilet bowl is my home.
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
I love millennial parents. One of the moms at the daycare center literally told me she and her husband named two of her kids after batman characters and one after game of thrones
Randomize
