i barfeds in our rink
dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
He just brought me a wine glass. Full of Tequila. Ignore any texts after this one.
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
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