I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
Randomize
