Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
So I'm pretty sure I fucked the dept of homeland security guy on my kitchen table. No recollection of it, but there are signs.
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
We are two peas in an std pod
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
Hiding the dark circles under my eyes this morning was like trying to hide a Beached Whale on the Couch eating Pita chips.
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
I think God is sending me all these 20 year olds to make up for wasting my 20's in that crappy ass marriage. Thanks Big Guy!
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
Randomize
