from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
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