first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
Just found an airplane bottle of whiskey and I didn't put it in my coffee. I think I deserve a little recognition this morning.
I just got out of a $280 speeding ticket by acting like The Big Lebowski. Seriously Jeff Bridges is the man.
Randomize