i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
The bosnian sent me a sext with his dick next to a comcast remote. It went up to the "stop" button. Ironic and appropriate. Grab your remote and imagine it.
You've ruined television for me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I can't message him and be like "hey I was behind you in CVS a month ago and I remembered your last name and DOB and looked you up on fb and added you so wanna hang out"
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
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