I'm a simple man, with a social life most psychopaths would cringe at
i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
The cops high fived after they tackled you
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
Randomize
