Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
I just smelled my beer. It smells like coming home.
Ever since they found the bud they've been sending me visa gift cards instead of cash. Bastards.
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
My life is over. I farted in open court. Noticeably. The judge looked at me. It echoed.
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
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