Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
How was your sisters wedding?
Oh, I didn't go. I slept through my alarm. I finally woke up and was like...I don't think so.
sisterhood ftl.
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
Also you know what's worse than drunk texting? Drunk leaving soup on your hot neighbor's porch.
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
My boss spotted an injured PIGEON outside the front door this morning (at 3:30am) and requested that I catch it and take it to the vet. Catch it with what! Take it where!These requests have gone too far...
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
