there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
Randomize
