I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
So I "accidentally" brought my road beers into church for this wedding
And they fell out of my pocket on the pew. Made quite a noise...safe to say I'm batting a thousand
And, by “make you dinner” I mean “have lots of sex and multiple orgasms.” So you should probably eat something and before you come over
And hydrate too
Randomize
