I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
She swung at the pinata with crutches
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
Randomize