Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
Somehow i instagrammed my acceptance letter while blacked out. Then my grandma was the first to comment on it. I got over 50 likes....Phd here I come....
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Randomize
