Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
The only birthday messages I got from men were from my 8th grade boyfriend and the bouncer at our bar. I think I'm doing something wrong in life.
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
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