1:57 a.m. Where did you go???
1:58 a.m. What are you doing? I want to go home with you, why aren't you responding?
2:11 a.m. Heading back to your place now, will you let me in?
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
if i die of alcohol poisoning tonight, just know i kinda expected it and totally deserved it
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
I deserve to be covered in dicks
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
Randomize