oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
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