did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
I love how you send me nude pics of girls you're fucking and name them by which city they're in instead of their name. "This is Nashville, this is Tupelo, this is Jackson..."
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
Randomize
